Yet Again

When I woke this morning,
My eyes opened to a darkened room,
And while I drew the curtains letting,
The morning sunshine through,
I thought again why am I living,
Again today what am I to do
I dared to hope, yes again,
Knowing my heart will be breaking,
With prayers boxed and hopes slain,
I promised never to go seeking,
But darkness so bright so plain,
Found me with love and understanding,
And I knew all my promises would be in vain,
And yes I fell without even knowing,
I embraced the good the bad and the pain,
For clearly the hurt was surely coming,
To crack and bend and shatter me yet again
But through it all the love I've gained,
Is something special, unique and strong,
When finally the truth was out,
And the truth will always out no matter the feign,
All my fears came crashing down,
And I'm broken, shattered again,
In that moment of loss and unease I realized,
That happiness is for me to give and never attain,
So never will I ever dream or hope or scream,
For something clearly beyond out of my reach,
Now I have a simpler future to look to,
Short or long the ache will remain,
For what could have been, for what I could have seen,
The haunting will linger till my dying day,
But happiness and joy I must continue to give,
As a need as strong and vital to live,
I'll never be loved the way that I want,
For I have love in ways other than what I need,
Despite the agony so close to my person,
What happiness is mine is to give,
Tomorrow when I awake again,
It will dawn on me like everyday,
The love I have and the joy I give,
Through it all I'm broken again.